I wrote in one of my earlier posts that I spent a lot of time mentoring a young girl over the summer. (Who is doing AWESOME btw)
Like any human, I became annoyed that no one was doing this for my (almost) teenager. WHY wasn’t there someone doing this for her?? Don’t they (whoever they are) know how important these years are?! And HOW HARD this world is for girls this age??
WHERE ARE THE JESUS FOLLOWERS I ASK!!!!!
(I think you know probably where I’m going with this)
After a few rants with God, my heart was ever so gently reminded of the fact that I am called to disciple.
Wherever there are souls to be loved, that is where I should be.
God I don’t know ANYTHING about leading teenage girls!
They are emotional and needy….
And quite honestly, Lord, they are downright SCARY.
NO THANK YOU
Just as I finished whining he answered,
But, if you don’t go who will?
He got me.
With this whole Jesus follower thing.
That isn’t always pretty. Or easy. Or what we feel qualified to do.
So, I started a group.
For my daughter.
And all the girls she goes to school with.
We had our first meeting two weeks ago.
The whole time leading up to it, I wrestled with thoughts like WHAT IN THE WORLD AM I EVEN GOING TO SAY.
Each time I was reminded of my summer with that girl. Where I didn’t come with any agenda other than love. Where my hands were open and my ears were ready to listen. Where there was no judgement, but only pure unselfish love.
In reality, all I did was get OUT OF THE WAY and let God move.
But, I did it. And it looked a little something like this:
(Room filled with teenage girls staring at me like who the freak are you)
I broke the ice and started asking some questions,
So, how is school going so far?
(I got random answers that aren’t really answers like, Fine. Good.)
Okay, how are your friendships this year?
(Again, answers that weren’t really saying anything like, fine, good, okay)
At this point, I started throwing desperate prayers in my head,
God, give me the right questions to ask….SHOW ME WHAT TO SAY.
We continued small, random talk for about 30 min. And I started to think maybe I wasn’t cut out for this.
But, that stubborn-spit-fire personality inside of me just wouldn’t give up. I was determined to make them like me 😉
And then something magical happened.
I opened up.
Did you catch that? Not them – ME.
I shared my story.
The honest, raw, ugly truth of how messy my heart was. How I used to be angry…..jealous…..insecure….and really lonely.
I told them about that girl.
The one I don’t want their moms to know I ever was.
The one I try really hard to forget.
The one who was so hurt that she barricaded herself inside her heart vowing NEVER to trust anyone again.
Well, I introduced some girls to her.
And you know what?
They opened up.
About their hurts and anger.
I got to tell them what it looks like to walk through pain with Jesus.
We talked and talked and talked some more. And, then it was time to be done. After we prayed and everyone was getting ready to go, one of the girls said,
This was THE BEST hour and a half of my week! Can we do this every week???
I about fell over.
I didn’t lead anyone through the prayer of salvation. I didn’t use a curriculum and didn’t get them to quote a million verses. That stuff – in hindsight – is easy. What God lead me to do instead, used to terrify me: I was vulnerable.
But, it no longer scares me.
Because I now trust Him with the most illogical of things.
I don’t trust myself to do anything.
I trust God.
And, that is completely illogical.
But, for a Jesus follower,
it’s the one and only thing in life that makes sense.
Trusting Him at this level is something that has slowly developed over the last 10 years…and it still stumps me. But, the level of ownership that He has over my life makes letting go of things pretty easy.
Like being vulnerable.
Like jumping into someone’s mess and believing God will use me to see them through.
I trust him and somehow it becomes easy.
So, I’m leading a group of teenage girls with nothing other than the Holy Spirit. It’s not only easy, it’s actually fun.
As always, I want to hear from you. Share your stuff.